May 2012
3 posts
2 tags
meetanoia asked: hi there, nice blog :)
4 tags
The Brodcast: Episode XII - ...How Many Wookiees? →
thebrodcast:
In their second official “don’t call it a comeback” comeback episode, our heroes celebrate 2012’s Explosion of Geek Week (featuring the release of The Avengers, Star Wars Day, and Comic Book Day) in double-wide style. First up: if Tom and Justin were to tackle society’s criminals in a vigilante…
New episode, ladies and gents! This one is a collector’s edition, complete...
April 2012
2 posts
2 tags
“Megan Fox is never going to be huge. She looks too much like Angelina Jolie. I...”
– Marina Eller
2 tags
March 2012
2 posts
3 tags
February 2012
3 posts
2 tags
4 tags
Tom's Get-Well-Marina Card
natural-20:
Born of Tom’s mind, brought to awful life by my hand….
…(and freeware).
I made this for my lady friend Marina, because she is a massive Star Trek nerd and wasn’t feeling well, and because I love horrifying puns that make you question every bad decision you’ve ever made. Follow her tumblr and her excellent webcomic/blog It Beats Arson (she’s much funnier than...
3 tags
January 2012
5 posts
2 tags
1 tag
December 2011
6 posts
If you can write that down and put a dash in front of it, and put my name at the bottom. A dash… that’s all I want to be, is dashed.
-Mitch Hedberg, Strategic Grill Locations
estebanwaseaten:
Han is already winding up to throw that box before the guy’s even finished shouting. He was just waiting for a reason to throw something heavy and blunt at whoever came around that corner, Imperial or otherwise. (Also: that’s Ben Burtt as the officer getting a chestful of steel. Watching this on loop is like repeated catharsis for some of Burtt’s editing decisions in the...
November 2011
9 posts
The Brodcast: Episode XI - Skin Noises →
New Brodcast episode, featuring our good friend Alex, his masterful rambling, and a two hour runtime (follow Alex on Tumblr and Twitter).
thebrodcast:
In one of the longest and most topic-heavy podcasts ever recorded (we’re assuming, because those sorts of statistics don’t really exist anywhere and if they did, we’d have no idea how to analyze them), our heroes are joined by a third voice — the...
“Why the fuck would anything nice ever happen?”
Louis C.K., Hilarious
October 2011
2 posts
Danny Glover Auditions for the Role of The Penguin...
First things first - I ain’t wearin’ no monocle, jack. It ain’t happening. If you or him or whoever hands me a piece of paper and I see the word “monocle”, that’s it. Try to make me some black Cyclops. Not this motherfucker. Yea. Yea, that’s right. You better give that monocle to Pee Wee. Don’t even let me see it.
Alright, let me see this… “Oswald enters the room and addresses his men”…Oswald....
September 2011
8 posts
WatchThe teaser trailer for John Dies At The End, the movie based on the book by David Wong, whom I work for at Cracked.com.
If you haven’t read the book, go buy it. Now. It’s Lovecraft, with dick jokes. And the trailer looks rad. Plus, Paul freaking Giamatti!
Jason Vorhees Stalks the Lamest Party in History
Jesus Christ, what the hell are they doing in there? I’ve been sitting in this bush for three fucking hours and I don’t think anyone’s left the damn kitchen. I can’t even see inside the window, this is ridiculous. It’s like eleven thirty, how come nobody’s upstairs having sex yet? Is this the right house?
I keep throwing rocks at the siding but no one’s coming out. Did kids just stop...
Denny’s recently unleashed their Mac ‘n Cheese Patty Melt, because they were looking for more ways to damage humanity than just plain old racism. It’s a hamburger topped with macaroni and cheese, with more cheese melted on the top just to make absolutely certain you butter your underwear with diarrhea on the post-meal walk to your car. And if for some reason you can eat the...
Phrasing.
August 2011
9 posts
THINGS I NOTICED DURING HURRICANE IRENE
-People suddenly become experts on how electricity works.
Sitting through an intense storm and praying that your power doesn’t get knocked out is like watching the scene in Rocky IV where Apollo Creed gets murdered into early retirement. You don’t want it to happen, but recognize the inevitability. I like to suffer through these situations...
Splatterhouse Five - Spoil
This is a rough mix of...
The Brodcast: Episode VIII - The Royal Wedding of... →
thebrodcast:
In an episode that should’ve been posted much sooner, our heroes briefly investigate the svelteness of Justin’s wallet, the harmless nature of an English couple’s lottery success, and how much money they’d charge to consider killing another human being. From there, they hopscotch over the sadly…
New episode, folks. DO IT UP.
The Big Texas Cinnamon Roll is like a wooden roller coaster at one of those weekend carnivals they set up in shopping mall parking lots - huge, awe-inspiring, and obviously fatal. I saw this in a vending machine and started looking around for Allen Funt. I had the same reaction as the first person to dig up a Tyrannosaurus skeleton and assumed Satan had raped it into existence with his hate...
SOME AWESOME THINGS I’VE SEEN/HEARD AT COURT THIS WEEK:
A minivan with a bumper sticker that said “We breastfeed for as long as we need!”
I don’t feel strongly enough about anything to slap it in a declarative sticker on the back of my car, unless someone prints one replete with the phrase “T-Rex will eat your face to death”. Evidently the whole breastfeeding issue is a real hotbed of...
Episode VII - Close Enough For Hand Grenades
New episode of The Brodcast is up, check it out here and prepare to have your tits exploded off of your chest.
When your tits have recovered, head over to iTunes and subscribe to us. That way our claim of being the arbiters of awesome will get way more credibility.
July 2011
6 posts
