January 2012
5 posts
December 2011
6 posts
If you can write that down and put a dash in front of it, and put my name at the bottom. A dash… that’s all I want to be, is dashed.
-Mitch Hedberg, Strategic Grill Locations
estebanwaseaten:
Han is already winding up to throw that box before the guy’s even finished shouting. He was just waiting for a reason to throw something heavy and blunt at whoever came around that corner, Imperial or otherwise. (Also: that’s Ben Burtt as the officer getting a chestful of steel. Watching this on loop is like repeated catharsis for some of Burtt’s editing decisions in the...
November 2011
9 posts
The Brodcast: Episode XI - Skin Noises →
New Brodcast episode, featuring our good friend Alex, his masterful rambling, and a two hour runtime (follow Alex on Tumblr and Twitter).
thebrodcast:
In one of the longest and most topic-heavy podcasts ever recorded (we’re assuming, because those sorts of statistics don’t really exist anywhere and if they did, we’d have no idea how to analyze them), our heroes are joined by a third voice — the...
“Why the fuck would anything nice ever happen?”
Louis C.K., Hilarious
October 2011
2 posts
Danny Glover Auditions for the Role of The Penguin...
First things first - I ain’t wearin’ no monocle, jack. It ain’t happening. If you or him or whoever hands me a piece of paper and I see the word “monocle”, that’s it. Try to make me some black Cyclops. Not this motherfucker. Yea. Yea, that’s right. You better give that monocle to Pee Wee. Don’t even let me see it.
Alright, let me see this… “Oswald enters the room and addresses his men”…Oswald....
September 2011
8 posts
WatchThe teaser trailer for John Dies At The End, the movie based on the book by David Wong, whom I work for at Cracked.com.
If you haven’t read the book, go buy it. Now. It’s Lovecraft, with dick jokes. And the trailer looks rad. Plus, Paul freaking Giamatti!
Jason Vorhees Stalks the Lamest Party in History
Jesus Christ, what the hell are they doing in there? I’ve been sitting in this bush for three fucking hours and I don’t think anyone’s left the damn kitchen. I can’t even see inside the window, this is ridiculous. It’s like eleven thirty, how come nobody’s upstairs having sex yet? Is this the right house?
I keep throwing rocks at the siding but no one’s coming out. Did kids just stop...
Denny’s recently unleashed their Mac ‘n Cheese Patty Melt, because they were looking for more ways to damage humanity than just plain old racism. It’s a hamburger topped with macaroni and cheese, with more cheese melted on the top just to make absolutely certain you butter your underwear with diarrhea on the post-meal walk to your car. And if for some reason you can eat the...
Phrasing.
August 2011
9 posts
THINGS I NOTICED DURING HURRICANE IRENE
-People suddenly become experts on how electricity works.
Sitting through an intense storm and praying that your power doesn’t get knocked out is like watching the scene in Rocky IV where Apollo Creed gets murdered into early retirement. You don’t want it to happen, but recognize the inevitability. I like to suffer through these situations...
Splatterhouse Five - Spoil
This is a rough mix of...
The Brodcast: Episode VIII - The Royal Wedding of... →
thebrodcast:
In an episode that should’ve been posted much sooner, our heroes briefly investigate the svelteness of Justin’s wallet, the harmless nature of an English couple’s lottery success, and how much money they’d charge to consider killing another human being. From there, they hopscotch over the sadly…
New episode, folks. DO IT UP.
The Big Texas Cinnamon Roll is like a wooden roller coaster at one of those weekend carnivals they set up in shopping mall parking lots - huge, awe-inspiring, and obviously fatal. I saw this in a vending machine and started looking around for Allen Funt. I had the same reaction as the first person to dig up a Tyrannosaurus skeleton and assumed Satan had raped it into existence with his hate...
SOME AWESOME THINGS I’VE SEEN/HEARD AT COURT THIS WEEK:
A minivan with a bumper sticker that said “We breastfeed for as long as we need!”
I don’t feel strongly enough about anything to slap it in a declarative sticker on the back of my car, unless someone prints one replete with the phrase “T-Rex will eat your face to death”. Evidently the whole breastfeeding issue is a real hotbed of...
Episode VII - Close Enough For Hand Grenades
New episode of The Brodcast is up, check it out here and prepare to have your tits exploded off of your chest.
When your tits have recovered, head over to iTunes and subscribe to us. That way our claim of being the arbiters of awesome will get way more credibility.
July 2011
6 posts
the brodcast: episode VI - return of the jetpack...
estebanwaseaten:
A new episode for you. This one is of the “Rogue” variety, where we did not sit down with a prepared topic and it shows, as we discuss a whole bunch of disconnected and inane subjects for close to an hour. Stream it here:
Listen to it. And then go on living your lives with the strength we have given you.
Watchestebanwaseaten:
VIDEO: the last few seconds from The Dark Knight Rises teaser AUDIO: a few seconds from the late Wesley Willis’ “I Whupped Batman’s Ass” WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? My friend Tom sent the following text message to me this afternoon:
I will give you five dollars to take that brief clip of Bane walking towards Batman in the end of the Dark Knight Rises trailer and set it to Wesley...
The Brodcast is back to make your ears pregnant
So the podcast I did with Justin is totally back, check it out here. If you like, click the follow button to have our sweet, sweet tumblr updates crammed down your facehole.
December 2010
1 post
November 2010
1 post
July 2010
1 post
May 2010
1 post
April 2010
1 post
Bat-Dance
Here’s something that I wrote for a comics journal two years ago that didn’t get picked up. Read it and comment, if you would. I appreciate it. (Please note The Dark Knight hadn’t come out yet).
Society as Reflected in the Batman Movies
Tim Burton’s Batman is set in a fantasy world made deliberately ambiguous by the filmmakers. It is a place that Burton wants to exist for both...