Start The Machine

Stay awake on coffee and razorblades.

theclearlydope:

Jason hates your beats. 

Jason has no time for your tired jambox.

theclearlydope:

Jason hates your beats. 

Jason has no time for your tired jambox.

(Source: nevermindtheb0ll0cks, via estebanwaseaten)

I’m pretty sure somebody peed in this coke bottle.

I’m pretty sure somebody peed in this coke bottle.

cracked:

And just like that, the government did something?
4 Reasons Timecop is a Modern Masterpiece

#3. Time Travel Is Not the Most Improbable Thing in Timecop
For instance, right at the beginning of the movie we’re treated to a closed-door meeting of harrumphing politicians as they simultaneously learn that time travel has been invented and decide to earmark a quarter of the national budget to defend it from terrorists. … No one is disputing the idea that a waddle-necked team of politicians would approve the expense of billions of dollars on the defense of an impossible technology. That would absolutely happen, because that’s how we understand things in America. However, nobody even has any time machines yet. America doesn’t even have any time machines yet. The head of the time-machine committee literally just strolls into the office and hands them a business proposal. Thirty seconds earlier, he was one of maybe three people on the planet who knew time travel existed. Now he asks four members of congress for a hundred fortunes to outfit a time-slipping defense league, and they approve it without discussion. I’ve seen more intense arguments over which Rocky sequel to watch.

Read More

Help me celebrate Timecop.

cracked:

And just like that, the government did something?

4 Reasons Timecop is a Modern Masterpiece

#3. Time Travel Is Not the Most Improbable Thing in Timecop

For instance, right at the beginning of the movie we’re treated to a closed-door meeting of harrumphing politicians as they simultaneously learn that time travel has been invented and decide to earmark a quarter of the national budget to defend it from terrorists. … No one is disputing the idea that a waddle-necked team of politicians would approve the expense of billions of dollars on the defense of an impossible technology. That would absolutely happen, because that’s how we understand things in America. However, nobody even has any time machines yet. America doesn’t even have any time machines yet. The head of the time-machine committee literally just strolls into the office and hands them a business proposal. Thirty seconds earlier, he was one of maybe three people on the planet who knew time travel existed. Now he asks four members of congress for a hundred fortunes to outfit a time-slipping defense league, and they approve it without discussion. I’ve seen more intense arguments over which Rocky sequel to watch.

Read More

Help me celebrate Timecop.

unpops:

Please enjoy our only episode that’s ever gotten off to a rip-roaring start…

…with express written permission to use the c-word.

THIS WEEK: Cracked editor/columnist Tom Reimann and video superstar Katy Stoll join Adam Tod Brown to plan laws we all know America needs, in addition to some sweet, sweet memories of Fish McBites eating.

The Legislation Show

I speak in this jam.

(via cracked)

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