Start The Machine

Stay awake on coffee and razorblades.

cracked:

That is “Shell Shocked” by Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, and Ty Dolla $ign. It jumps from describing the four Ninja Turtles and the unbeatable power of brotherhood to talk of teaming up with your friends to make shitloads of money for Lamborghinis and Rolexes (which suggests that the new film features a sequence wherein Master Splinter teaches his four young protegees how to ball like motherfuckers). And before you dismiss this video as being unimportant to your life, you need to understand something: Rap songs about Ninja Turtles used to fucking dominate the pop charts.

This Week in WTF Pop Culture History: Ninja Turtle Rap Songs

I wrote this and it is very important.

twiabpaianlatfwnogf:

americanhighwayflower:

Despite all my rage I am still holding cats on a page


Thought that was Dr. Evil holy shit

Disarm you with a smile and an armful of adorable cats.

twiabpaianlatfwnogf:

americanhighwayflower:

Despite all my rage I am still holding cats on a page

Thought that was Dr. Evil holy shit

Disarm you with a smile and an armful of adorable cats.

(Source: thefader, via estebanwaseaten)

I would pay any amount of money to watch this movie and hear Jon Snow sing to Ghost about friendship.

(Source: annabelleebypoe, via motherof-kittens)

cracked:

What the shit, Riverdale?
4 Ways Archie Comics Have Gone F***ing Crazy

#4. Archie Gets Shot for Big Sales
This past week, Archie Comics went the distance and flat-out fucking killed their eponymous star. OK, so he only died in Life With Archie, a comic about an alternate reality where Archie’s an adult. Sure, Archie sacrifices himself to an assassin’s bullet that was meant for his gay pal. But holy shit, people, this is Archie we’re talking about. He’s not Superman, out there fighting universe-eating aliens on the daily. Motherfucker’s pissed away the past seven decades drinking milkshakes and failing calculus. Archie’s shooting is like cracking open the funny pages only to witness Hi and Lois getting executed by FARC guerrillas or Ziggy ODing on muscle relaxants.

Read More

This is important.

cracked:

What the shit, Riverdale?

4 Ways Archie Comics Have Gone F***ing Crazy

#4. Archie Gets Shot for Big Sales

This past week, Archie Comics went the distance and flat-out fucking killed their eponymous star. OK, so he only died in Life With Archie, a comic about an alternate reality where Archie’s an adult. Sure, Archie sacrifices himself to an assassin’s bullet that was meant for his gay pal. But holy shit, people, this is Archie we’re talking about. He’s not Superman, out there fighting universe-eating aliens on the daily. Motherfucker’s pissed away the past seven decades drinking milkshakes and failing calculus. Archie’s shooting is like cracking open the funny pages only to witness Hi and Lois getting executed by FARC guerrillas or Ziggy ODing on muscle relaxants.

Read More

This is important.

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