Denny’s recently unleashed their Mac ‘n Cheese Patty Melt, because they were looking for more ways to damage humanity than just plain old racism. It’s a hamburger topped with macaroni and cheese, with more cheese melted on the top just to make absolutely certain you butter your underwear with diarrhea on the post-meal walk to your car. And if for some reason you can eat the whole thing without hating yourself to death, it comes with a side of fries to help give your man-breasts the extra jiggle you’ve been searching for.
Seriously, no one that doesn’t look like Harold Ramis’ neck fat should eat this thing. It should be served with a rib separator. The only thing sadder than simultaneously having a massive coronary while choking to death on the Mac ‘n Cheese Patty Melt would be getting electrocuted by your George Foreman grill while trying to make one at home.
With fries, this monument to novelty obesity carries a staggering 1,690 calories. There are people in the world that don’t eat that in a fucking month. AMERICAAAAA!
