Start The Machine

Stay awake on coffee and razorblades.

3 Fan Communities That Hate Their Own Members

I wrote a column about how comic book and music fans hate their fellow enthusiasts more than anything else in the entire universe. To wit - I embedded a YouTube clip of one of my songs, purely for illustrative purposes and not at all to stroke my own boundless ego, in the body of the column. Within an hour of this article going live, I got a personal message on YouTube (a personal message, mind you, because I had disabled comments and made the video unlisted so the only way you can watch it is by getting the link through my column) that said “Your song is a true piece of shit. You have no talent whatsoever.” Hating it was not enough - this person literally could not go on with his or her life without personally letting me know that I didn’t deserve to make music.



4 Reasons This One Kickstarter Proves Humanity Is Doomed

Operation Barbarossa is a softcore hentai card game wherein you play as sexy Nazis that got funded in record time on Kickstarter, and I wrote about how sad that must make everyone who lived through World War II.

The 15 Most Insane Content Warnings About Famous Movies

If you’ve ever been to the Internet Movie Database (or IMDb, if you’re cool [and I know you’re cool]), you may have noticed that every single movie on their site has a handy Parents Guide, describing any and all objectionable content to help parents decide if the movie is appropriate for their kids to watch. All of these Parents Guides were apparently written by insane robots, and in today’s new column, I picked out the craziest ones, including Tango and Cash, Aladdin, The Goonies, The Monster Squad, and this gem from Conan the Barbarian:

It is insinuated that Conan has sex in one scene.